“It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else”
-Arthur Schopenhauer
“Change your attitude! Focus on yourself and your own happiness." These wise words from my mom kept ringing through my head when I was at my lowest point. At that time, I had no idea what they meant or where to begin. I felt pretty lost after college ended and didn’t know what to do with my life. My new "boy" and gym obsession were the only things I thought I had going for me. Those two things kept me busy for the time being, but I soon realized I needed to get my life in order and make the necessary changes so I could move to LA.
Happiness: the same word that means something completely different to every person.
We’ve all heard that you need to love yourself before you can have a truly happy relationship. But how do we acquire this self-love? It took me awhile to discover what this word meant for me and how to find my own happiness. It wasn't something I could buy or something I could get from someone else. It was something I found from getting to know myself.
I wouldn’t say I necessarily relied on other people for my happiness. I allowed other people to effect the way I felt, even though I have always been a confident person. After another almost relationship ended, that I thought would FINALLY work, I was damaged. I finally decided I needed a change. I truly learned the value of loving myself, and I found a newfound confidence. The bad things in my life kept bringing me down and it took that one final something to force me to change. I am now stronger and happier than I have EVER been in my life. It is only going up from here!
This didn’t happen overnight…it took a major attitude adjustment along with some work. Here’s how I found happiness within myself and have never been better.
1. Finding the positive: I chose to turn anything negative in my life into something else that was positive. When I found myself complaining, I decided to think of something encouraging. I might not have had the job I LOVED, but the positive was it was preparing me for the future. I was gaining valuable experience and learning so much to be able to take the next step in my career.
2. Set Goals: I made clear goals for myself to focus on. My goals kept me motivated knowing something better was always ahead. I created a “plan” of exactly how I would accomplish the big move to California. Whenever I got discouraged I wasn’t living there yet or that I didn’t have my “dream job”, I added more to my plan. I always made sure to have something to look forward to and remember that my hard work will never go unnoticed.
3. Everything happens for a reason: I've learned that every failed relationship, job offer I didn't get, or anything else is always because something better is coming. It's true! I might not know the reason right away, but soon enough you figure out why things happened the way they do. Everything I thought I was being REJECTED from something I wanted, I was acutally being RE-DIRECTED to something better.
4. Staying fit: I have always been an active and busy person. I did cheerleading all through high school and worked out at my gym in college every day. In college my late night food cravings and partying 3 nights a week did not help me stay completely in shape. I now eat better and push myself to do harder workouts. I feel better when I am fit and am always looking for new ways to improve my body.
5. Not going out all the time: I would go out partying/drinking to try and feel better and it ended up making me feel worse. I don't have any desire to go back to those days and that makes me thankful I found myself. I didn't know who I was and I wasn't truly happy, which effected how I felt when I consumed alcohol. You should never go out drinking when you are down because it will impact you TOTALLY differently than if you are truly happy inside.
"Someday you'll look back and understand why it all happened the way it did"
“I love the person I’ve become, because I’ve fought to become her”
-Kaci Diane